TAKE YOUR CAT AND LEAVE MY SWEATER
Reason #777 999 to dislike cats:
Dog saves owner, but dies trying to rescue cat.
When the cat started a fire in the home of its disabled owner, the dog saved the owner by getting her outside, brought the owner her artificial leg and a phone, and then tried saved the cat. What did the cat do? It just continued with its selfish ways, started a fire, damaging the house, causing burns to it owner, nearly killing her, and took a dog, a hero, life. My guess it is hide from the dog trying to save them, and thus, let the fire kill them.
In Other Sad News:
Like the news isn’t bad enough, but it really hurts when you see the Pink Flamingo has died. It is just a sad day when a legend, an icon, is no more. Why did it have to be the pink flamingo? Why couldn’t they stop making cats instead? Why?
LikeMonkey Meditations
- When I am elected to office: I will only allow political ads to air from 2:00 AM to 2:05 AM the morning of the elections.
- Like anyone in their right minds are not tired of these things, yet.
- Or believes what the ad says.
- Or wants either candidate to win.
- When I am elected to office: The injustice of the 2000 Supporting Actor Oscar Award would be corrected.
- We all know the best Supporting Actor was not never nominated.
- Like Tom Hanks could have carried Cast Away with out Wilson.
- It is time Wilson finally got its due.
- When I am elected to office: Stores would not be allowed to display Christmas stuff in early September.
- I am so sick of Christmas already because stores have put out Christmas things for over a month and half.
- So no Christmas junk in stores till 12 days before Christmas.
- Absolutely, no Christmas music on the public airways till 2 days before Christmas.
- When I am elected to office: There will be no more of this feeling sorry for the Raiders.
- There is no crying in baseball.
- And there is no feeling sorry for the Raiders in Football.
- End of discussion, so don’t let it happen again.
- When I am elected to office: Burger King, Sprint, Hummer, and other makers of bad TV ads would have to hire the genius who did the Mac/PC ads.
- I don’t like Macs, but those ads are so funny and so well done.
- Kudos to the maker, director, and actors of those spots.
- If we are force to have commercials, they should at least be funny and well done.
IF I WAS BRAVE I’D WRITE A LETTER TO THE PRESIDENT
Yesterday, I received a letter in the mail from the new president of the place of higher education that I got my degree from. It was another pathetic attempt to try and take my money. However, this letter made me laugh a little more than normal because of some of the things he said. So here is my reply to his about his letter.
Dear Mr. President,
“… I would like to thank you for past support of the Annual Fund.”
I have never and will never support the Annual Fund. The only money the school has ever gotten out of me was the money you sucked out of me for my education. I paid the university for a product, my education, which was provided. Now, I am educated enough not waste my money by giving it to you for nothing. If my kids attend college there, then you may get more money from me for the education of my children, but you will get nothing from me without providing a quality service in return.
“…you will receive a telephone call from one of our students..the student will discuss my invitation for you to join me in supporting the Annual Fund.”
So, you are using college kids as your pawns to try and get me to give you money? Nice. That sounds like a very educational service that will will teach them the value of getting a degree so they will not spend their lives as a tele-a-marketer.
“I arrived at the University…, and I was immediately impressed with the physical beauty of the campus..”
I remember of a lot people smoking some strong stuff while I was there, but I do not remember any of them being on anything strong enough to make them believe the campus was beautiful. The first time my parents came and visited me at the school, my mom ask why I lived so close to the prison. I had to tell her that was not a prison, it was the college campus. That is a true story.
“Our classes are taught by faculty members…”
Wow. Are you making those employee’s you pay actually do their job. That is incredible. No wonder you want more money.
Your letter then goes on to tell me about some of the things that my money will help with, but I would rather give my money to my wife, my kids, my family, my church, or worthy and helpful charities like
The Third Story, Samaritan’s Purse, World Vision, The Patu Foundation, etc. They are a much wiser use of my money than to give it to a multi-million (if not more) dollar institute that wants more money to help its Men’s Racquetball Club win a fourth consecutive national championship.
Grace & Peace,
Code Monkey
P.S. Stop sending me junk mail and stop calling me as I am on the Do Not Call List.
I’M FINDING IT’S NOT EASY TO BE PERFECT
It was just going to be a nice quit Friday night at home after a long week. Then the Next Thing You Know, Mindy and I are going to “Don’t Conform Tour” with Colleen. I will not go into to the details of why I got to go as not to bore you too much. The tour was in Arvada and it involved the following bands: Downhere, Matthew West.com, and Barlow Girl.
I had seen Barlow Girl before (see that blog entry by clicking here), but I had not seen Matthew West or Downhere.
The concert was at Faith Bible Chapel in Arvada (it is where Lynzee goes to school, Faith Christian Academy). I like it when concerts are close to the house. The parking is good and auditorium is very nice with plenty of space and great sound. The only thing with concerts there that I found different is how they make you get into the place. First, you have to wait outside in a long line, but you can Look At The Mountains while you wait. No problem there, that is just like most concerts. However, once they open up the doors so you can go inside, you have to go stand in one of a few other lines. The auditorium has five or six doors , but they do not open those when they let you inside. So now you are stuck waiting in line again in a crowded lobby. Why, I just don’t know?
When we got to our seats, they had a number you could send a text message to. On the screen they showed the text messages. Then at the end of the show, they were going to selected a message and that person would win a guitar from Barlow Girl. Kind of an interesting give away of getting people to text message. It reminded me of text message trivia contests they have at sporting events.
Lately, the opening bands at concerts I have been at were very good and Downhere was no expectation. They are a Canadian Band, but I do not hold that against them. They sang their four songs and we enjoyed their sound, the humor, and honesty of their song, “Rock Stars Need Money”. Which by the way, you can download it free from their site by clicking here. Since they are giving the song away for free, I have to wonder if they really need money? What I did like best about that song is they divided the room into two side (like at most concerts) and had one side sang, Rock Stars and the other side sang baloney. We were on the baloney side, and it is not too offen you get to sing baloney. Well, unless you are in a Oscar Meyer commerical.
Next up was Matthew West. Ok, I know he was is a southern boy. Anyone who names his dog, Earl The Girl and his daughter LuLu has some southern in him. He said he made up a song for Colorado and used Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough to go with Colorado. I am at a lose of words to describe the song, but I am sure it will be on his next CD that only the 5,000 people at the concert will buy. Over he was very good and it was good hear him sing his stuff live.
Last up, Barlow Girl. For three young ladies, they sure have a big, loud sound. They are a great band to listen to and have some wonderful songs. They did sing one of my favorite David Crowder songs (like I have said before can never have too much Crowder), “There Is No One Like You”. They are one of those bands that I think that really makes a great impact on young kids and I am glad they are out there.
TIRED OF THE OLD ONE, OUT WITH THE OLD PLAN
With the rockies season done, I thought I share some things about the 2006 season that I found interesting.
PITCHING:
- They set a few team records with their ERA that were good for a change:
Season Lowest Home ERA: 4.72
Season Lowest Overall ERA: 4.66 - For the first time ever they had four of the five starters start at least 30 games and the fifth one [Kim] started in 27 games.
- They had three starters who ERA was under 5.00 and one who was under 4.00. Sadly, that actually a big deal for the rockies.
- They should have had all five starters will more than ten wins but the bats let them down, so only two reach the double digits in wins.
- Brian Fuentes continues to be great as the closer.
- Josh Fogg game in Seattle was one the best start every of any rockies game and it was the fastest in team history.
- They throw their first one hitter and it was at home
- Rockies pitchers had eight shutouts and six of them were at home
HITTING:
- There was just too many runners left on base and just never seemed to have many clutch hits.
- Brad Hawpe hit 16 or his 22 homers on the road.
- They were shutout ten times, five at home and five times on the road.
OTHER:
- They were the only National League team that had any real success in inter-league play. That is different since they normally don’t do well against the American League.
- My goal of the team having a better record than the Braves or Dodgers (the only two teams they have never had a better season than) did not happen.
- Their all time record in October fell to 7-18 with the lost to the Cubs to end the season.
- This was their 5th year being the last place team. So roughly 39% of the time the rockies finish in last place.
- As for me, they were 6-0 at games that I was at. This is the first time in the history of me attending games at Coors Field that the rockies have been undefeated when I go!
- The Designation Committee had to let them keep their small “r” for the their off-season, (which is a first).
SOMETHING YOU GOTTA GAIN OR PROVE BY WINNING SOME SILLY FIGHT
With the regular season ending for baseball, here is the first annual Admirable Thoughts Awards.
- Code Monkey’s Jim Leyland Award
Description: Giving to someone quits on it team early in the season
Nominees: Brewers Front Office, Phillies Front Office, and Florida Ownership
Winner: Brewers Front Office by trading Carlos Lee for not that much when the team was in a wide open wild card race. - Code Monkey’s Cubbie Choking Award
Description: Giving to someone that falls-apart when it matters
Nominees: Boston Red Soxes, St. Louis Cardinals, and Detroit Tigers
Winner: This is a tough one even though the Tigers and Cards still made the playoffs. However, it goes to the Tigers by losing the division lead by not being able to beat the Royals. - Code Monkey’s Jose Canseco Award
Description: Giving to the player or team who who had the worst defensive day
Nominees: Nationals (six errors in one game), Manny Ramirez (July 23rd), & Baseball (steroids testing)
Winner: Manny by far. The game on the 23rd of July has so many Manny errors that he wins this award. - Code Monkey’s Terry Tate Award
Description: Giving to the best home plate collision of the year
Nominees: Michael Barrett/A.J Pierzynski, Eric Byrnes/Brian McCann, Delwyn Young /JD Closser,
Winner: It was not the biggest collision but it sure cost a big fight, so I got to go with the Michael Barrett/A.J Pierzynski collision. - Code Monkey’s Hatfields & McCoys Award
Description: Giving for the best brawl
Nominees: Cubs/White (May), Rangers/Angels (August), and John Gibbons/Ted Lilly (August)
Winner: Player and manager fight are interesting, especially when ever one denies them, so Gibbons/Lilly wins. - Code Monkey’s Congressional Award
Description: Giving for the biggest waste of money
Nominees: Mike Hampton, Kerry Wood, and Tampa Bay Devil Rays
Winner: As a whole the Devil Rays are a waste of money and Hampton always is a good choice, Kerry Wood takes this one. He has never helped the Cubs that much and makes so much money not helping them. - Code Monkey’s Deer Meat Award
Description: Giving to weird injury of the year
Nominees: Matt Wise (salad tongs), Chris Bootcheck (running to a fight), and Angel Berroa (at the mall)
Winner: Since my wife is anti-veggies, Wise takes this one. There is nothing more scary than veggies helping to cause pain. - Code Monkey’s Michael Jackson Award
Description: Giving to the weirdest event of the season
Nominees: Jay Gibbons’ foul ball that hit his wife, Devil Rays get triple play without a ball being put in play, and rockies had the lowest ERA in the NL around late July.
Winner: Jay Gibbons had talked to Baltimore about making the net safer earlier this year and then his foul ball hits his wife. You can’t make stories that like up. I doubt any of friends will ever say something like at least I did not hit my wife with a baseball…
Feel free to leave comments with other awards that should be added, I will try and include good ones in next years list.
